I don't think many ppl would be reading this coz of the disappointment they'd faced everytime they visit this blog. Haha TOO BAD! One of the things that God spoke to me in the previous camp was to be more faithful, I guess I haven't been very faithful with my blog. But if you ask me honestly how have I responded and grown in this area for the past 5 months, hmmm tough qns man.
Looking back at the past 5 months from the previous camp onwards, there are many things that maybe I've done right, maybe I could have done better, or maybe I could do. I kinda missed the JC days where ppl around you can identify with what you're going through, back then we spoke the same language, had the same problems, shared the same music and interests, hanging out with them was so much easier then. Maybe if I'd enlisted into the earlier batches with the JC dudes and go through army like a normal kid, things could have been much different. Sometimes I really ask God why do I sit in office facing my malay friend who talks melayu with his malay girlfriends. Can I really live with this guy for the next one year and influence him in any ways?
But I think he's not that bad, at least he invites me to his malay friends' karaoke sessions(with all malay songs) which I had no second thoughts abt turning him down. And if you walk out of my office, at the other corner of the building lies a bunch of chinese dudes, and I meant it when I said 'chinese' because when I listen to their conversations I thought I went back to China. Yup they discuss chinese media, artists, songs that I've never heard of. I stammer everytime I try speaking chinese with them. Gosh they make singaporean chinese proud man but I seriously don't give a shit abt that.
At the beginning you anticipated the weekends to come like the schools holidays when you were still a kid. But comes sunday and you realised that wow it's all ending so fast and I'm going back tomorrow again. And soon enough before you even realise, you won't anticipate weekends as much coz you know it's never enough for you. And sometimes on saturdays, getting so caught up doing service, playing guitar, it gets abit tiring. All you need right then was maybe a friend that you can talk to. I feel like I'm hanging on the vertical pole instead of a cross. Living a life where army ppl around you are really so shallow and corrupted, and you have no idea what the hell are they doing outside. Man what is this.
But then I realise that this is the test of faithfulness. Faith can only exist in a world where faith is difficult. We don't need to have faith that one plus one gives a two or a square has four equal sides. But knowing and believing that God is there for you everyday, that requires faith. Every morning I see so many different faces on that one hour train ride to boonlay, and those faces screams of how much hope and faith they need in order to carry on. The christian community cannot be weak in our faith, because we know the truth. The truth is if ppl don't know God, they would perish. And we know that that's not what our God wants. So we need to ask ourselves how are we being an influence to wherever God has placed us right now. Are we being faithful to the things and ppl that God has put into our lives? But it's so difficult. Argh..
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Mike Guglielmucci and us
Most of you might have heard the news abt Mike, the guy from planetshakers who wrote the song 'Healer'. To be honest, it's really shocking to hear that the story of his cancer was all a make up to divert ppl's attention away from the fact that he couldn't break free from the struggle with adult pornography. He is a pastor, worship leader, musician, songwriter, and I believe that thousands are probably very disappointed, shocked and even angry upon hearing the statement that someone with such great spiritual statute has actually covered up his big time sin with a big time lie. And now he's stripped of all his credentials and appointment as a pastor in planetshakers. But before we as readers start to point fingers and judge, I think we should do a check on our own lives first; maybe after doing a thorough scan of our heart motives, we probably don't have the guts to judge our poor fella here anymore.
John 8:1-11
1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Luke 6:36-37
36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
37"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
I was reminded of these two passages when I was reading the statement. All of us are sinners, which means we all sin. We have to eliminate sin when it's implications are still small, before it leads to even more sins and then soon after, before we even know it - the fear of condemnation, rebuke and shame has already overruled our ability to make the right choice, which is of course to seek help from our leaders. Pride will then fill our hearts, and soon we'll start coming up with lies, and these lies breed even more lies and finally we begin to lose faith in God, thinking that we can't be an overcomer in Christ afterall and then we do the worst thing ever, that is to backslide away from God.
But at least in the end, Mike made the right choice. In the statement it wrote that he admitted it himself and I have to respect that because it's really not easy to confess it at this stage whereby his song and his testimony has already been published not only in planetshakers, but also in hillsong and churches all over the world. He could have just lied all the way and no one is gonna know about it and he could just end it off with,'I went to my doctor today and he told me that my cancer cells have mysteriously disappeared! Yes, God did a miracle in me!' But he chose to believe that the truth will set him free, he chose to do the right thing. And I believe by doing that, it serves as a powerful reminder to ppl out there who are hiding a particular sin and thought that he/she could never mount enough courage to let anybody know about it. We have to remember that God is a God of grace and second chances, and He has come to redeem us, not condemn us.
John 8:1-11
1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Luke 6:36-37
36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
37"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
I was reminded of these two passages when I was reading the statement. All of us are sinners, which means we all sin. We have to eliminate sin when it's implications are still small, before it leads to even more sins and then soon after, before we even know it - the fear of condemnation, rebuke and shame has already overruled our ability to make the right choice, which is of course to seek help from our leaders. Pride will then fill our hearts, and soon we'll start coming up with lies, and these lies breed even more lies and finally we begin to lose faith in God, thinking that we can't be an overcomer in Christ afterall and then we do the worst thing ever, that is to backslide away from God.
But at least in the end, Mike made the right choice. In the statement it wrote that he admitted it himself and I have to respect that because it's really not easy to confess it at this stage whereby his song and his testimony has already been published not only in planetshakers, but also in hillsong and churches all over the world. He could have just lied all the way and no one is gonna know about it and he could just end it off with,'I went to my doctor today and he told me that my cancer cells have mysteriously disappeared! Yes, God did a miracle in me!' But he chose to believe that the truth will set him free, he chose to do the right thing. And I believe by doing that, it serves as a powerful reminder to ppl out there who are hiding a particular sin and thought that he/she could never mount enough courage to let anybody know about it. We have to remember that God is a God of grace and second chances, and He has come to redeem us, not condemn us.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Birthdays birthdays
Yeah man I survived 19 years, officially today. One of the busiest and most tired birthdays. Been busy with JUMP and basically a boring NS life. I guess everyone's busy.
2 days ago I just celebrated my bro's bday with my parents. We ate Fish & Co. for dinner and watched 'Mummy 3'. Had a great time with them man. My bro posted me with a rather interesting question, 'why do we celebrate bdays'. I couldn't really answer that, all that I came up with was, 'coz that was the day we were born and it's a good day.'
My love language is time, basically I don't need fanciful birthday celebrations. I just wanna spend time with my love ones and close friends. But well I kinda expected a rather unexciting bday this year, everyone's busy and stuff.
Anyway honestly I didn't really enjoy today. Hah it was quite dead after svc when everyone went for CLM. Had Astons with Walmond they all. Simon thought they were gonna treat me. Haha oh well but in the end it wasn't really so. Turned out to be just a normal dinner. It's okay, that steak was good. I really didn't wanna play lan, seriously, I quitted lan like 3 years ago. But in the end I still got dragged by them to play lan. Damn sian. Hah okay la, didn't wanna be a wet blanket. Had supper with Gideon and Shawn after that, couldn't hide from Gideon that I was rather disappointed today. But oh well, yeah it's true, we have to be understanding...
ANYWAY just wanna thank God for a few ppl:
Yihui and Siewluan, thanks for appearing with a cake at my doorstep at like 11pm on Monday night. I really didn't expect that man. You guys knew that I was gonna be damn busy this week and wouldn't have the time to celebrate. It's really really sweet and I appreciate it alot, AND THE DURIAN CAKE IS FREAKING AWESOME! Lol thanks thanks! :D
Qianjin, thanks for the 'cake' and hershley kisses. Haha and of coz the little humble sharing session we had after that. You're a shepherd who really takes effort to listen to your sheep and to me that's the most important role of a shepherd. Thanks I felt so much better after sharing today.
Gideon and Shawn, you guys knew me the longest in church. Haha Gideon! Thanks for spending time with me today even though you were like so tired. Appreciate your prayers, touched me alot. Shawn, what can I say man. You're the longest friend I knew in my life, it's been 7 years, and God has brought us so far. Haha thanks for everything dude.
A really humble birthday this year. But nonetheless, 19 marks a new phase, with new challenges ahead, new struggles, new growth points, new breakthroughs.
2 days ago I just celebrated my bro's bday with my parents. We ate Fish & Co. for dinner and watched 'Mummy 3'. Had a great time with them man. My bro posted me with a rather interesting question, 'why do we celebrate bdays'. I couldn't really answer that, all that I came up with was, 'coz that was the day we were born and it's a good day.'
My love language is time, basically I don't need fanciful birthday celebrations. I just wanna spend time with my love ones and close friends. But well I kinda expected a rather unexciting bday this year, everyone's busy and stuff.
Anyway honestly I didn't really enjoy today. Hah it was quite dead after svc when everyone went for CLM. Had Astons with Walmond they all. Simon thought they were gonna treat me. Haha oh well but in the end it wasn't really so. Turned out to be just a normal dinner. It's okay, that steak was good. I really didn't wanna play lan, seriously, I quitted lan like 3 years ago. But in the end I still got dragged by them to play lan. Damn sian. Hah okay la, didn't wanna be a wet blanket. Had supper with Gideon and Shawn after that, couldn't hide from Gideon that I was rather disappointed today. But oh well, yeah it's true, we have to be understanding...
ANYWAY just wanna thank God for a few ppl:
Yihui and Siewluan, thanks for appearing with a cake at my doorstep at like 11pm on Monday night. I really didn't expect that man. You guys knew that I was gonna be damn busy this week and wouldn't have the time to celebrate. It's really really sweet and I appreciate it alot, AND THE DURIAN CAKE IS FREAKING AWESOME! Lol thanks thanks! :D
Qianjin, thanks for the 'cake' and hershley kisses. Haha and of coz the little humble sharing session we had after that. You're a shepherd who really takes effort to listen to your sheep and to me that's the most important role of a shepherd. Thanks I felt so much better after sharing today.
Gideon and Shawn, you guys knew me the longest in church. Haha Gideon! Thanks for spending time with me today even though you were like so tired. Appreciate your prayers, touched me alot. Shawn, what can I say man. You're the longest friend I knew in my life, it's been 7 years, and God has brought us so far. Haha thanks for everything dude.
A really humble birthday this year. But nonetheless, 19 marks a new phase, with new challenges ahead, new struggles, new growth points, new breakthroughs.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Long wait at the polyclinic
Woke up today and felt that my throat was swimming in a pool of phlegm. EEEEWW! Hahaha yeah man I'm sick. I've been having a sorethroat since yesterday morning, sucks. Feels like your throat has gone all rusted. It got really bad this morning so I decided to get a day of MC. Lacking of cash, I left my house with my 11B and went to a polyclinic.
I discovered that now polyclinics have this new Self-Registration machine. Basically you just gotta scan your IC and you can get a queue number. Everything started well, I was 5 minutes earlier than a bunch of uncles who flooded around that 3 poor machines. And everything after that was about WAITING. I waited to get the queue number to see the doctor, waited to see the doctor, waited to get the queue number to get my medicine, waited to get my medicine, waited to pay for my medicine. I entered the polyclinic at 1040 and left at 1330. Close to 3 hours of waiting! But alright no complaining since it's free COZ I'M A SOLDIER! :DD
Hah feels nostalgic to go polyclinic man, my shelter and refuge during my JC days... LOL! JC students out there who wanna get straight As, pls don't visit the polyclinic too often!!
I discovered that now polyclinics have this new Self-Registration machine. Basically you just gotta scan your IC and you can get a queue number. Everything started well, I was 5 minutes earlier than a bunch of uncles who flooded around that 3 poor machines. And everything after that was about WAITING. I waited to get the queue number to see the doctor, waited to see the doctor, waited to get the queue number to get my medicine, waited to get my medicine, waited to pay for my medicine. I entered the polyclinic at 1040 and left at 1330. Close to 3 hours of waiting! But alright no complaining since it's free COZ I'M A SOLDIER! :DD
Hah feels nostalgic to go polyclinic man, my shelter and refuge during my JC days... LOL! JC students out there who wanna get straight As, pls don't visit the polyclinic too often!!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Happy Spiritual Birthday, Kai!
Last week marked my 3rd year in Hope. It's amazing man, I never thought that I would actually stay in a church for so long. I used to think that Christianity was just another religion game, played in despair to attempt to reach into the 4th dimension and convince oneself that something supernatural actually exists and therefore our lives can get better. In other words, it's all just a bunch of nicely-packaged lies.
But things changed a lot after I came to Hope. I have experienced God in a manner that is way beyond explanation. It's more than just about going to church weekly and having that routine of praise and worship, holy communion and sermon. It's about having a genuine relationship with God. I never regretted knowing God, the only thing I can feel regretful about is not knowing God earlier. In the past I really felt like starting all over again because I screwed up time after time chasing skirts, achievements, popularity and gaining recognition in the things that I do. I finally found my restart button and it can only be God, it has to be, and it is. I can't imagine my life without Him.
Now when I think back, Christianity is no longer just another religion game. I really thank God for all the people that have guided me and helped me to grow in this relationship with Him. 3 years have passed, God has brought me this far and I know He will bring me even further. From an unbeliever to a believer, to a shepherd, to a careleader, to a musician, to a discipler and so much more to come. I'm so excited about what God can do in my life and in the lives of others through mine.
Yes, I wanna be with Jesus forever. And all else fade away. Amen. :)
But things changed a lot after I came to Hope. I have experienced God in a manner that is way beyond explanation. It's more than just about going to church weekly and having that routine of praise and worship, holy communion and sermon. It's about having a genuine relationship with God. I never regretted knowing God, the only thing I can feel regretful about is not knowing God earlier. In the past I really felt like starting all over again because I screwed up time after time chasing skirts, achievements, popularity and gaining recognition in the things that I do. I finally found my restart button and it can only be God, it has to be, and it is. I can't imagine my life without Him.
My source of strength,
My source of hope,
Is Christ alone.
My source of hope,
Is Christ alone.
Now when I think back, Christianity is no longer just another religion game. I really thank God for all the people that have guided me and helped me to grow in this relationship with Him. 3 years have passed, God has brought me this far and I know He will bring me even further. From an unbeliever to a believer, to a shepherd, to a careleader, to a musician, to a discipler and so much more to come. I'm so excited about what God can do in my life and in the lives of others through mine.
Nothing in this world can satisfy me
Jesus You alone can fill me up
I could gain the world and all its treasures
But all those things can never be enough
Jesus You alone can fill me up
I could gain the world and all its treasures
But all those things can never be enough
Yes, I wanna be with Jesus forever. And all else fade away. Amen. :)
Friday, July 18, 2008
Long long time!
Haha wow feels great to be back at my blog! The first thing that hit me when I visited my blog after a long time was that sometimes plans don't really work out the way you want them to. I guess plans can sound great, but it's much more than just writing them down or talking abt them.
I wanna read more books- But my train rides are the only chances for me to catch my slp.
I wanna go for mission trip- I bought tickets for Hongkong LC! :))
I wanna lose weight- Let's not talk abt that first. LOL.
I wanna save more money- Oh shit.
I wanna outreach- Working on it pretty well.
Proverbs 16:9
9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.
Well I guess no matter how good our plans can sound, we still have to commit them to God and pray continually. Cos at the end of the day God is still the one in control, He is still the one who takes the driver's seat and the steering wheel of our lives.
Many times I felt so tired and pointless, even though my NS life is so uninteresting to be mentioned abt compared to the Pes As & Bs, even the Pes Cs. I felt so alone and that no one could understand. Sometimes I just sit in the office and wonder why the hell am I here for, wasting my life away. But to think of it again, if I wasn't in that office, what else would I actually be doing. So is life that meaningless and boring? Whatever happened to life to the fullest with God. I'm just wondering. If you're reading this, please pray for me.
I wanna read more books- But my train rides are the only chances for me to catch my slp.
I wanna go for mission trip- I bought tickets for Hongkong LC! :))
I wanna lose weight- Let's not talk abt that first. LOL.
I wanna save more money- Oh shit.
I wanna outreach- Working on it pretty well.
Proverbs 16:9
9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.
Well I guess no matter how good our plans can sound, we still have to commit them to God and pray continually. Cos at the end of the day God is still the one in control, He is still the one who takes the driver's seat and the steering wheel of our lives.
Many times I felt so tired and pointless, even though my NS life is so uninteresting to be mentioned abt compared to the Pes As & Bs, even the Pes Cs. I felt so alone and that no one could understand. Sometimes I just sit in the office and wonder why the hell am I here for, wasting my life away. But to think of it again, if I wasn't in that office, what else would I actually be doing. So is life that meaningless and boring? Whatever happened to life to the fullest with God. I'm just wondering. If you're reading this, please pray for me.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
KAI’S 2 YEAR PLAN
Okay here’s my 2 year plan. I guess 2 year means roughly from 2008 June to 2010 June right. Haha alright here goes:
I have divided it into 5 main aspects of my life:
1. Spiritual
2. Physical
3. Financial
4. Skills
5. Outreach
Just a few recent upcoming events happening in my life provided God doesn’t rapture me tomorrow or something:
1. Flying off to
2. Youth Camp 9th to 12th June
3. Enlisting on 16th June, Mon
I guess by listing down all these stuffs gives me a rough estimation of the amount of time I have in the upcoming months.
Time includes:
Work time (NS, tuition, teach guitar), family time, caregroup time, service time, ministry time, shepherding time, and other miscellaneous time.
Work time:
-NS 0800 to 1700 every weekday
-Tuition Mon, Tue and Thur 1900 and Sun 0900, 1.5 hours each
-Teach guitar Wed 1830 to 2030
-Fri (provided no svc prac), Sunday dinners
Okay the rest is unconfirmed.
I guess the main point is how I can work on the 5 main aspects of my life, where to start and what I wanna achieve at the end of 2 years. So let’s get the ball rolling shall we??
1. Spiritual – When I work in SAFTI MI in Jurong West which is like super far, I’ll definitely have amazing lengths of traveling time.
So the question is how can I learn to love people more, I believe one practical point would be a stronger prayer life. I’m gonna come up with a prayer list so as to pray for specific people on a regular basis. I think it’s only when we pray for others, we’ll grow to love them more. This is a personal one that I’m gonna commit to. I believe that this prayer list will kick start a new level of prayer life.
Another very important thing is that I need to start hunting for volunteer guitarists to disciple. Hmm I aim to find at least 1 by July this year and disciple 4 to become full time guitarists before I go uni.
I also wanna have a taste of missions within these 2 years coz I’ve never had any before. So I’ll take leave to go for one mission trip probably nearing the end of this year or something. I strongly believe that I can learn a lot from missions so I really hope I can go for one.
2. Physical – Okay this part is quite sensitive. My weighing machine currently says that I’m 75 kg. Gotta do something abt it man. I’m hoping to lose 10 kg by the end of this year. I think it’s really damn hard but in the name of Jesus I’m gonna do it! Haha probably night jogs and weekend morning gym and basketball sessions. At least 3 times of exercise per week. And NO FASTFOOD!
3. Financial – My pay after I enlist would be $400 per month I think. With an additional $380 from tuition, and around $120 per month from teaching guitar. Altogether I’ll earn around $900 per month. My expenses would mainly include meals, transport, clothes and guitar stuffs in these 2 years coz I have nothing but a chao slack and yet time consuming army life. I hope to save around $400 a month. So by the end of 2 years I’ll have about $9600. I spend a lot on food and have a very bad cabbing habit. This will help control my spending so as to save up for future mission trips, blessing other people (bdays etc.), books, CDs, guitar lessons and I can also buy a laptop for myself at the end of the 2 years after I enter uni.
4. Skills – GUITAR! Haha I’m gonna learn guitar from this guy called Daniel Chai I hope. I think it’ll be around $50 per hour. I have no idea what he’s gonna teach me but I’m sure that I’ll improve a lot if I really get to learn from him. I hope to learn better improvisation skills on guitar like solo-ing ideas and develop an arsenal of licks. So that in free worship, the Holy Spirit can use whatever I know to move better through the vast range of ideas that I have. Another thing is driving, for traveling convenience, I’ll start learning right after I enlist. Probably taking night or weekend lessons.
5. Outreach – I know in pastoral, this could easily mean a school I wanna win for Jesus, hitting a specific goal by a specific time. But as a PES E army boy, this could get quite uncertain. Seriously I have no idea what to expect when I’m gonna be a clerk for the next 2 years in SAFTI MI. But I really pray that God will let me meet people during my NS life to sow on. I wanna bring at least 3 people to know Christ by the end of my army life. My ex CL said before that if you wanna bring 1 person to church, you gotta have 10 responsive contacts to secure 1 visitor on that Sat svc. So that means mine would be 30 contacts in 2 years. I seriously don’t know how this is gonna work out but I really pray that God will use my life to bring hope to the PES E people. Haha yeah man! Probably meet another guy that loves to play guitar also.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Meaning of Worship
About half an hour ago I was in the toilet and I was asking God what I should do after that. Then a couple of ideas came to my head like watching a movie, play guitar, talk to some random ppl online. Okay then God replied, 'Why don't you worship me?' Haha I was like, 'err God I meant ENTERTAINMENT. Worship is not exactly very ENTERTAINING. And plus I'm not in the mood to worship and play guitar right now. And I'm having sorethroat so I can't sing. And my poor nail on my right hand index finger just cracked and I just cut it short yesterday so I can't pluck properly.' Then I realised that was just a whole lot of excuses. Amazing how I can actually think of so many. Haha so I got out of the toilet, picked up my guitar and entered my comfortable air-conned room.
I said, 'Okay God. I'm gonna play in the key of D now alright. That sounds pretty good.' So there I went enjoying my plucking in D. But a few chords later God kinda dragged me to the G key. I was like 'eh wahlao G is so boring man.' But somehow God told me not to change key or stop playing. So I went on plucking and plucking. Just plucking. Then a miracle happened. Okay there wasn't any lightning or thunder or fire shooting down from the sky on the tree outside my window. I just felt very very peaceful. I'm not even playing what I'm playing, in fact I believe God was the one playing. I didn't sing probably because God knew how bad I would sound with my sorethroat. I was just enjoying God's presence in the room and praising Him in my heart.
The thing is, after the worship ended, I just can't recall what I played. But I knew it was kinda like a hybrid of bass notes and melody at the high notes and it sounded super nice and I really loved it. I tried to figure them out but I just can't get the exact same thing. Then at that point of time, God spoke to me, saying, 'Hey kid. That's the meaning of worship. It's when you let me take control. I can do what you can't.' I was like, 'Woh-ho-ho. Now THAT IS damn cool man.' Hahaha and He impressed upon my heart that what He did on my guitar just then was just a small spark compared to the measure of how much He can do through me.
At that moment I really believed that with God in control of worship, we can definitely bring it to the next level - something way beyond what we can do. For some of you it may be something 'duh' maybe coz you've heard it alot of times or whatever. But for me it served as a really good reminder in which to what extent am I actually allowing God to take over my life right now. Yeah man thank God and I feel really prepared for service tmr!
YEAHH! I FEEL AS STRONG AS SAMSON NOW THOUGH I JUST HAD A HAIRCUT TODAY! WHEE!!
I said, 'Okay God. I'm gonna play in the key of D now alright. That sounds pretty good.' So there I went enjoying my plucking in D. But a few chords later God kinda dragged me to the G key. I was like 'eh wahlao G is so boring man.' But somehow God told me not to change key or stop playing. So I went on plucking and plucking. Just plucking. Then a miracle happened. Okay there wasn't any lightning or thunder or fire shooting down from the sky on the tree outside my window. I just felt very very peaceful. I'm not even playing what I'm playing, in fact I believe God was the one playing. I didn't sing probably because God knew how bad I would sound with my sorethroat. I was just enjoying God's presence in the room and praising Him in my heart.
The thing is, after the worship ended, I just can't recall what I played. But I knew it was kinda like a hybrid of bass notes and melody at the high notes and it sounded super nice and I really loved it. I tried to figure them out but I just can't get the exact same thing. Then at that point of time, God spoke to me, saying, 'Hey kid. That's the meaning of worship. It's when you let me take control. I can do what you can't.' I was like, 'Woh-ho-ho. Now THAT IS damn cool man.' Hahaha and He impressed upon my heart that what He did on my guitar just then was just a small spark compared to the measure of how much He can do through me.
At that moment I really believed that with God in control of worship, we can definitely bring it to the next level - something way beyond what we can do. For some of you it may be something 'duh' maybe coz you've heard it alot of times or whatever. But for me it served as a really good reminder in which to what extent am I actually allowing God to take over my life right now. Yeah man thank God and I feel really prepared for service tmr!
YEAHH! I FEEL AS STRONG AS SAMSON NOW THOUGH I JUST HAD A HAIRCUT TODAY! WHEE!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Amazing Service
Singing and playing had been tiring on Saturday, but I can really see how God had brought me and the whole band through the whole praise and worship session. I was amazed by how it all turned out; the overall sound and the response from the congregation was simply overwhelming. I never knew that a 4-piece could sound so full and dynamic. I think technical stuffs aside, I believe it was really God who was in control of the team. We were just used by Him as instruments to deliver His presence to the people's hearts.
I'm very convicted and excited to carry this on for the subsequent services. I saw how an extra attention paid to the technical parts like sound, choice of effects and fill-in notes etc. could make so much difference to the overall dynamics. Let's keep it up man! Praise and worship can change lives!! :D
Psalm 33:2-4
2 Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
I'm very convicted and excited to carry this on for the subsequent services. I saw how an extra attention paid to the technical parts like sound, choice of effects and fill-in notes etc. could make so much difference to the overall dynamics. Let's keep it up man! Praise and worship can change lives!! :D
Psalm 33:2-4
2 Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
3 Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.
4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Sending off the NS guys
Today is the day that a few of my close friends are enlisting into army: Shawn, Luke and Shem. BOYS TO MEN!! LOL wahlao I woke up at 6.30am to travel all the way to PASIR RIS interchange(thank God my mom fetched coz it's near her workplace if not I'll just die on the train.)
Anyway not really in the mood to write stuffs now, so I'll just post some pics.
Anyway not really in the mood to write stuffs now, so I'll just post some pics.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
God is closer than you think
Hey guys I've got a testimony to share! Though it's just a couple of small things, they're still very impactful to my life and hope they can impact yours, too. :D
Okay today is tuition day. I was gonna have to go and teach that fantastic p5 boy again LIKE SIAN. Haha I seriously felt like ponning tuition(just like the good old days back in JC.) Okay la my shep told me to try a different approach towards him. Initially I was like no point la seriously. Then the thing is somehow I was reminded by what Shirley mentioned in her sermon last week. I think she said something like 'at times we keep complaining that God didn't answer our prayers but the thing is did we even pray abt it in the first place?' Haha okay la so I decided to pray and ask God to somehow work something out for today's tuition as the past few had been blood-boiling experiences.
Then I thought since I'm praying so might as well pray for more. Lol so I prayed that the bus to that boy's house would arrive at the interchange immediately after I reached there so that I don't have to wait for it. And it really happened, so thank God I wasn't late in fact 15 minutes early.
And you know what guys the surprising thing was that today p5 boy suddenly became smarter and could understand what I'm saying. Lol yes and it was quite enjoyable teaching him abt reproduction(no hints.) The scary thing was that halfway through the tuition, 2 GIANT BEES flew into the house and got me quite disturbed coz I didn't wanna get stung or anything, so I prayed for them to either DISAPPEAR or DIE. And to my amazement, one of them just disappeared and the other one died mysteriously on the floor(I think it sprained its ankle or something.)
Okay tuition ended, I took out my thermometer in the lift and stuffed it into my blood veins and thankfully it wasn't boiling. Lol yeah alright man! Okay next when I was crossing the road I saw this familiar looking bus so I dashed with all my might in my flip flops and sling bag which constantly hit my butt while I was running haha err okay. And as I was running and throwing my arms around in the air trying to get the bus driver's attention, I kinda recalled that my ezlink was only left with -$1.20. I was like OH CRAP! So at that moment I only had 3 choices,
a) Act as if I'm crazy and just run pass the bus
b) Act as if I was running for the bus behind
c) Tell the bus driver I got myopia
Haha okay I knew all these couldn't work so I just quickly prayed that somehow the bus driver would let me off. I went up the bus, tapped my card, and was greeted by 'PAY CASH' and flashing red lights and alerts from the small machine. Then I reached into my wallet and pretended to be shocked and turned around and gave the bus driver a pitiful face and said, 'Uncle, wo mei you coin.' Then he went like 'MEI YOU COIN?! MEI YOU COIN?!' He repeated that like 3 times, and then he went 'never mind la.' Woah thank God man! I thought all bus drivers are niao ppl, but today I encountered otherwise.
Basically that's my little testimony, thank God for all the answered prayers. Small things but yet very significantly proving that He's closer than I think.
Okay today is tuition day. I was gonna have to go and teach that fantastic p5 boy again LIKE SIAN. Haha I seriously felt like ponning tuition(just like the good old days back in JC.) Okay la my shep told me to try a different approach towards him. Initially I was like no point la seriously. Then the thing is somehow I was reminded by what Shirley mentioned in her sermon last week. I think she said something like 'at times we keep complaining that God didn't answer our prayers but the thing is did we even pray abt it in the first place?' Haha okay la so I decided to pray and ask God to somehow work something out for today's tuition as the past few had been blood-boiling experiences.
Then I thought since I'm praying so might as well pray for more. Lol so I prayed that the bus to that boy's house would arrive at the interchange immediately after I reached there so that I don't have to wait for it. And it really happened, so thank God I wasn't late in fact 15 minutes early.
And you know what guys the surprising thing was that today p5 boy suddenly became smarter and could understand what I'm saying. Lol yes and it was quite enjoyable teaching him abt reproduction(no hints.) The scary thing was that halfway through the tuition, 2 GIANT BEES flew into the house and got me quite disturbed coz I didn't wanna get stung or anything, so I prayed for them to either DISAPPEAR or DIE. And to my amazement, one of them just disappeared and the other one died mysteriously on the floor(I think it sprained its ankle or something.)
Okay tuition ended, I took out my thermometer in the lift and stuffed it into my blood veins and thankfully it wasn't boiling. Lol yeah alright man! Okay next when I was crossing the road I saw this familiar looking bus so I dashed with all my might in my flip flops and sling bag which constantly hit my butt while I was running haha err okay. And as I was running and throwing my arms around in the air trying to get the bus driver's attention, I kinda recalled that my ezlink was only left with -$1.20. I was like OH CRAP! So at that moment I only had 3 choices,
a) Act as if I'm crazy and just run pass the bus
b) Act as if I was running for the bus behind
c) Tell the bus driver I got myopia
Haha okay I knew all these couldn't work so I just quickly prayed that somehow the bus driver would let me off. I went up the bus, tapped my card, and was greeted by 'PAY CASH' and flashing red lights and alerts from the small machine. Then I reached into my wallet and pretended to be shocked and turned around and gave the bus driver a pitiful face and said, 'Uncle, wo mei you coin.' Then he went like 'MEI YOU COIN?! MEI YOU COIN?!' He repeated that like 3 times, and then he went 'never mind la.' Woah thank God man! I thought all bus drivers are niao ppl, but today I encountered otherwise.
Basically that's my little testimony, thank God for all the answered prayers. Small things but yet very significantly proving that He's closer than I think.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Once skinny, now FAT.
Okay guys I found this picture of myself taken 3 years ago. And so this is how 65 kg feels like. Haha SIAN.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Ankle-spraining spree
Just played basketball with some random ppl: Shawn, Martin, Rayson, Junliang, Luke and Freedy. AND GUESS WHAT GUYS, I SPRAINED MY ANKLE AGAIN!! HOHO! It's really traumatizing when you land with your foot in the awkward(tilted) position, and the next thing you know is that you have rested your whole body weight on your ankle and you just totally twist it to one side(OUCH!). Sian I think I'm developing a weak joint, sprained the same spot for like 5 times alr. Haha oh well.
Since Shawn was the 'culprit', we got him to pray for my ankle. And you know what guys, the cool thing was that the pain alleviated almost immediately after the prayer(I even tried walking, NO PAIN!) Now I can even rotate my ankle without feeling any pain, amen God is good man! :D Maybe Shawn has the gift of healing, but then again he also did pray for no more injuries from then on. Haha then the funniest thing was abt 5 minutes after I sprained my ankle, FREEDY SPRAINED HIS ANKLE! LMAO so we're like the casualties of the day. Haha but okay la his was only a slight sprain(but trust me it's still very painful.)
Despite all these, still wanna thank God for the great weather and a great time of fellowship with random ppl. Haha alright gotta go meet some random guy to sell him my acoustic hardcase for $20. Yay money! And that's gonna last me till Sunday -_-' Hmm shall pray that God will provide more! :D
Since Shawn was the 'culprit', we got him to pray for my ankle. And you know what guys, the cool thing was that the pain alleviated almost immediately after the prayer(I even tried walking, NO PAIN!) Now I can even rotate my ankle without feeling any pain, amen God is good man! :D Maybe Shawn has the gift of healing, but then again he also did pray for no more injuries from then on. Haha then the funniest thing was abt 5 minutes after I sprained my ankle, FREEDY SPRAINED HIS ANKLE! LMAO so we're like the casualties of the day. Haha but okay la his was only a slight sprain(but trust me it's still very painful.)
Despite all these, still wanna thank God for the great weather and a great time of fellowship with random ppl. Haha alright gotta go meet some random guy to sell him my acoustic hardcase for $20. Yay money! And that's gonna last me till Sunday -_-' Hmm shall pray that God will provide more! :D
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
God is a random God to us
This is a very random thought, but I think God is a random God, at least to me la. One way of explaining this is that God has everything in control, and with human eyes of course we cannot see everything. So we can be thinking of one thing at one time when there are like a few million other things going on. And since God is in control of everything, so He can be spotting where Mas Selamat is hiding, AND at the same time feeling very sad for the starving kids in Africa, AND also making sure that Hillsong is writing that new song in the correct key, AND many many other things like holding back the rain for a great bbq session for a particular CG, guiding us for our test the next day, calculating if this particular plate movement will cause any major earthquakes, is that ship gonna sink, whose the next president of Taiwan, how to save the polar bears because of global warming, etc. AND of course, listening to all prayers.
Therefore to us God is a very random God doing alot of random stuffs, but to God Himself He's just controlling everything. And as we learn to grow to be more Christ-like, the randomness of God in our sight decreases more and more as we are able to see Him and comprehend His ways better. Haha okay I seriously have no idea how to explain this more clearly but I do hope it makes sense to you.
Therefore to us God is a very random God doing alot of random stuffs, but to God Himself He's just controlling everything. And as we learn to grow to be more Christ-like, the randomness of God in our sight decreases more and more as we are able to see Him and comprehend His ways better. Haha okay I seriously have no idea how to explain this more clearly but I do hope it makes sense to you.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Died on Sunday
Today(or rather yesterday) was the day that I died man seriously. In the end I only slept for 1 hour last night. HAHA! Woke up like a zombie to wash up and get ready for tuition. I could see all the complicated blood vessels in my eyes like super red which kinda reminded me that God is really a very detailed God. Haha okay nvm that's quite random.
Okay first let's talk abt tuition and let me describe to you how fantastic the P5 boy was.
-He did his vocabulary MCQ without knowing a single word in the choices
-He didn't know how to use a dictionary
-His grammar exercise only got 4/10
-He couldn't differentiate between 'cross' and 'across'
-He didn't know what's prepositions
-He couldn't spell the word 'example'
-And many more...
I scolded him quite badly and he almost cried at the 'cross' and 'across' part. Well he almost died 'at the cross' too. Haha ay I think I really gotta work on my patience man.
Aiya but good thing is he improved alot on his synthesis and transformation, last time he got 0/5 but today he managed to get 4/5. Haha ok la not so bad.
Today MinOps outing was great, just that I was too tired and didn't bother explaining how I didn't sleep well last night and all. Despite the heavy clouds, God still managed to hold back the rain at the beach after a while. Glad that Ethan really enjoyed himself at his last CG though I couldn't be there for long. So sorry! :( Anyway all the best in Tertiary man!
Another thing at the outing was that I managed to get to know this guy that Sherman brought to svc yesterday. His name is Qizhi which kinda sounds like 'flag' or 'chinese chess' HAHA. And he plays guitar! Then me and Simon went like 'YES! Woohoo~!' I wanted to 'OOSH!' but that's so Qianjin LOL! Anyway hope Qizhi can join our meat club soon then he can be beef steak or something since he's quite big. LOL erm no offence! Oh btw Simon is hotdog, Sherman is bacon and I'm err ham. Yeah coz Jiayi started this whole 'Kaiwen look like hamburglar right!' thing the moment I stepped into this group. Hahaha! Oh well guess I gotta change specs soon.
Last thing before I knocked out today was the guitar lesson. Jonquek, Gavin, Limin, Dingcheun and Darren came down. Taught them more chord progressions and some basic plucking. AND DARREN IS SERIOUSLY GOOD NOW. Haha well to consider the fact that he had zero knowledge of guitar when I first started this lesson. Within a short span of 4 months he had tremendous improvements man. His strumming is very steady and chord transitions are very smooth now. Continue to work hard man! Haha yay and thank God for all the rest who worked hard as well! Like Gav, Jon, DC, Siewluan, Limin, Qinning, Kat and my SHEPHERD! You guys rock! :D
After the lesson I just knocked out totally until 2am. Haha I should go and slp somemore now. Nights people!
Okay first let's talk abt tuition and let me describe to you how fantastic the P5 boy was.
-He did his vocabulary MCQ without knowing a single word in the choices
-He didn't know how to use a dictionary
-His grammar exercise only got 4/10
-He couldn't differentiate between 'cross' and 'across'
-He didn't know what's prepositions
-He couldn't spell the word 'example'
-And many more...
I scolded him quite badly and he almost cried at the 'cross' and 'across' part. Well he almost died 'at the cross' too. Haha ay I think I really gotta work on my patience man.
Aiya but good thing is he improved alot on his synthesis and transformation, last time he got 0/5 but today he managed to get 4/5. Haha ok la not so bad.
Today MinOps outing was great, just that I was too tired and didn't bother explaining how I didn't sleep well last night and all. Despite the heavy clouds, God still managed to hold back the rain at the beach after a while. Glad that Ethan really enjoyed himself at his last CG though I couldn't be there for long. So sorry! :( Anyway all the best in Tertiary man!
Another thing at the outing was that I managed to get to know this guy that Sherman brought to svc yesterday. His name is Qizhi which kinda sounds like 'flag' or 'chinese chess' HAHA. And he plays guitar! Then me and Simon went like 'YES! Woohoo~!' I wanted to 'OOSH!' but that's so Qianjin LOL! Anyway hope Qizhi can join our meat club soon then he can be beef steak or something since he's quite big. LOL erm no offence! Oh btw Simon is hotdog, Sherman is bacon and I'm err ham. Yeah coz Jiayi started this whole 'Kaiwen look like hamburglar right!' thing the moment I stepped into this group. Hahaha! Oh well guess I gotta change specs soon.
Last thing before I knocked out today was the guitar lesson. Jonquek, Gavin, Limin, Dingcheun and Darren came down. Taught them more chord progressions and some basic plucking. AND DARREN IS SERIOUSLY GOOD NOW. Haha well to consider the fact that he had zero knowledge of guitar when I first started this lesson. Within a short span of 4 months he had tremendous improvements man. His strumming is very steady and chord transitions are very smooth now. Continue to work hard man! Haha yay and thank God for all the rest who worked hard as well! Like Gav, Jon, DC, Siewluan, Limin, Qinning, Kat and my SHEPHERD! You guys rock! :D
After the lesson I just knocked out totally until 2am. Haha I should go and slp somemore now. Nights people!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Insomnia
Suffering from insomnia again hence decided to come back to my com. Alright just set up a new blog.
Let's talk abt my day today(or rather yesterday). Went for Raphael's grads meet before svc. We had games, worship, teaching and subsequently the guys were separated from the girls for some NS talk. Well to sum it all up, the feeling was kinda bittersweet like what Raphael said. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were serving together as a JC group, and in a flash people are gonna transfer and move on to a new ministry. I think I could roughly comprehend that same feeling. Oh well. Guess we all have to grow up and do greater things for God.
After svc I went to join NYSR's grads farewell dinner at some Jap restaurant. It turned out to be the restaurant that I almost worked in but I just couldn't find the stupid place that time. Haha ay nvm that's not important anymore. At the dining table I was really glad to see new faces, people like Sikuan, Zhenzhi, Michelle and Jiajia. Thank God for the group for working so hard throughout the pioneering period and therefore God blessed them with fruits. Like what my ex-shepherd said before, new people would mean new challenges, new issues, new breakthroughs, new friendships and hence new experiences. Just wanna take some time to offer my prayers to the new NYSR group. May God be with you guys.
My last agenda at the dinner was to talk to my sheep. Made an excuse to get him along to withdraw money with me at Centrepoint. Hope I spoke some sense to him today. Anyway, will really miss this fella who sticked with me throughout my JC life. To me you're definitely more than just a sheep, you're a friend who listens and understands. You have added so much strength to the group ever since I transfered and I sincerely believe that God will also use you greatly in the NS ministry. Mark my words: BE A SHEPHERD THERE! AND BE A CL SOON! :D Love you sheep. Be good there eh? Haha.
Alright I should really go to sleep now. Gotta wake up at 7.30am tmr to give tuition and that's like 2 hours away. After that there's a Minops CG at SENTOSA. Yes if I don't sleep now I'm really gonna die tmr. Haha alright bye.
Let's talk abt my day today(or rather yesterday). Went for Raphael's grads meet before svc. We had games, worship, teaching and subsequently the guys were separated from the girls for some NS talk. Well to sum it all up, the feeling was kinda bittersweet like what Raphael said. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were serving together as a JC group, and in a flash people are gonna transfer and move on to a new ministry. I think I could roughly comprehend that same feeling. Oh well. Guess we all have to grow up and do greater things for God.
After svc I went to join NYSR's grads farewell dinner at some Jap restaurant. It turned out to be the restaurant that I almost worked in but I just couldn't find the stupid place that time. Haha ay nvm that's not important anymore. At the dining table I was really glad to see new faces, people like Sikuan, Zhenzhi, Michelle and Jiajia. Thank God for the group for working so hard throughout the pioneering period and therefore God blessed them with fruits. Like what my ex-shepherd said before, new people would mean new challenges, new issues, new breakthroughs, new friendships and hence new experiences. Just wanna take some time to offer my prayers to the new NYSR group. May God be with you guys.
My last agenda at the dinner was to talk to my sheep. Made an excuse to get him along to withdraw money with me at Centrepoint. Hope I spoke some sense to him today. Anyway, will really miss this fella who sticked with me throughout my JC life. To me you're definitely more than just a sheep, you're a friend who listens and understands. You have added so much strength to the group ever since I transfered and I sincerely believe that God will also use you greatly in the NS ministry. Mark my words: BE A SHEPHERD THERE! AND BE A CL SOON! :D Love you sheep. Be good there eh? Haha.
Alright I should really go to sleep now. Gotta wake up at 7.30am tmr to give tuition and that's like 2 hours away. After that there's a Minops CG at SENTOSA. Yes if I don't sleep now I'm really gonna die tmr. Haha alright bye.
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