What am I doing?

What am I doing to extend God's kingdom now?

That's the question that I used to hear a lot and think abt a lot when I was serving in my JC days. Somehow thru the years that I've been in church, this question no longer came across my mind as often as it did and should have. Recently I spent some time to think and reflect abt the things that I'm doing now. Compared to the things that I used to do back in pastoral, they are so different. Yes, we talk abt doing different things in the body of Christ to fulfil a single purpose. But somehow along the way, some ppl(myself included) have lost track of that single purpose and our hearts subtly start to grow cold and harden towards this very fundamental qns: 'What are we doing now to extend His kingdom?'

Well I guess for older believers, it's very much easier to react fast and list out one whole bunch of things that we're doing to 'extend His kingdom'. We may be serving, and what we do to serve may have extended His kingdom in one way or another, but our hearts and minds are not as engaged and focused on extending His kingdom as how much God wants us to be. In the light of that, we've started to lose track of our purpose yet again.

Recently the big leaders from Hope Bangkok did terrible terrible things, and a series of bad things, things that the Bible warned us not to do, have happened. I read the news yesterday and the headline news on the front page was 'Violent street protests raged in Bangkok'. I wondered, are they somehow related to the fall of our Bangkok church's top leadership? Are those the repercussions of the sins of our leaders? And as I look into the Bible on how the whole Israel fell when one man, the man over the entire nation, turned his back from God, I start to believe that yes they are related, 'strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered.' zech 13:7

Yes! I need to constantly remind myself of this question over and over again.

Is my guitar discipling extending God's kingdom?
Is my guitar playing extending God's kingdom?
Is my band-leading extending God's kingdom?
Are my words and actions in church/at home/in camp extending God's kingdom?
Are my impure/evil thoughts and motives hindering me from extending God's kingdom?

Is ________ that I'm doing for my own gain or for extending God's kingdom?
Eat the humble pie and ask yourselves that. It'll help you grow a lot.

Reliance

Last night me, puay, simon, daixuan and huiyang headed over to simon's place to attempt to record some songs for the easter short film. We were supposed to meet at 1830 hrs, but guess what, we met at 2030 hrs coz simon was held back really late in camp. By the time we reached simon's place, settled down, waited for the rough cut of the easter short film to be downloaded, it was alr 2130 hrs! But we really thank God that we still managed to write the most important song for the short film - a song abt forgiveness. And I really learnt alot from that recording session!

To write a good song when you're just an average guitar player, you'll need,
1. A keyboardist (Huiyang)
2. A lyricists and melody composer (Puaylin)
3. A good place to record (Simon's place)
4. Recording equipments (Simon)
5. An awesome singer to bring out the song (Daixuan)
6. A sustain pedal for the keyboard (apparently simon didn't have it so we'll have record the proper one another day haha)

And I tell you, the song was literally given by God. I was sitting on the shuttle bus to camp yesterday morning as usual, had a pretty rough night trying to compose songs(and nothing came out). But I guess I was relying too much on my own efforts, my own music knowledge, my own skills, and it was all abt myself last night. I told God on the bus like as if talking to a friend sitting beside me that I really need Your help. Then help came, the chords were ringing in my head, everything was so clear, I knew exactly where to play what to play. I picked up the guitar immediately after I reached office, everything fell into place like how amino acids will form up in line to produce proteins. The feeling was good, because God is really good.

And I thank God for people like puay, yang, simon and dx who were there to wrap up the song so perfectly. YAY!

More songs tonight. Jiayi's bday. Prac for svc. Chords. Blah blah. I'm gonna rely on God.