Re-visit to my blog!

I don't think many ppl would be reading this coz of the disappointment they'd faced everytime they visit this blog. Haha TOO BAD! One of the things that God spoke to me in the previous camp was to be more faithful, I guess I haven't been very faithful with my blog. But if you ask me honestly how have I responded and grown in this area for the past 5 months, hmmm tough qns man.

Looking back at the past 5 months from the previous camp onwards, there are many things that maybe I've done right, maybe I could have done better, or maybe I could do. I kinda missed the JC days where ppl around you can identify with what you're going through, back then we spoke the same language, had the same problems, shared the same music and interests, hanging out with them was so much easier then. Maybe if I'd enlisted into the earlier batches with the JC dudes and go through army like a normal kid, things could have been much different. Sometimes I really ask God why do I sit in office facing my malay friend who talks melayu with his malay girlfriends. Can I really live with this guy for the next one year and influence him in any ways?

But I think he's not that bad, at least he invites me to his malay friends' karaoke sessions(with all malay songs) which I had no second thoughts abt turning him down. And if you walk out of my office, at the other corner of the building lies a bunch of chinese dudes, and I meant it when I said 'chinese' because when I listen to their conversations I thought I went back to China. Yup they discuss chinese media, artists, songs that I've never heard of. I stammer everytime I try speaking chinese with them. Gosh they make singaporean chinese proud man but I seriously don't give a shit abt that.

At the beginning you anticipated the weekends to come like the schools holidays when you were still a kid. But comes sunday and you realised that wow it's all ending so fast and I'm going back tomorrow again. And soon enough before you even realise, you won't anticipate weekends as much coz you know it's never enough for you. And sometimes on saturdays, getting so caught up doing service, playing guitar, it gets abit tiring. All you need right then was maybe a friend that you can talk to. I feel like I'm hanging on the vertical pole instead of a cross. Living a life where army ppl around you are really so shallow and corrupted, and you have no idea what the hell are they doing outside. Man what is this.

But then I realise that this is the test of faithfulness. Faith can only exist in a world where faith is difficult. We don't need to have faith that one plus one gives a two or a square has four equal sides. But knowing and believing that God is there for you everyday, that requires faith. Every morning I see so many different faces on that one hour train ride to boonlay, and those faces screams of how much hope and faith they need in order to carry on. The christian community cannot be weak in our faith, because we know the truth. The truth is if ppl don't know God, they would perish. And we know that that's not what our God wants. So we need to ask ourselves how are we being an influence to wherever God has placed us right now. Are we being faithful to the things and ppl that God has put into our lives? But it's so difficult. Argh..