Kai's Blog

SCHOOL

2009-11-16T11:07:00.005+08:00

SCHOOL is something that i'm looking forward to. i miss going through physics notes and understanding awesome concepts on how things work(if you hate physics that's too bad). but the uni students around me are making me afraid of sch because they're SO STRESSED UP! :( someone described to me that apparently uni is like going thru 'A' levels a few times. lol GG.

anyway i have exactly 7 more months to ORD!

in this 7 months, i'll have:
-time to be stupid
-time to read bible
-time to disciple
-time to improve skills
-time to learn something new
-time to record music
-time to lose weight(LOL like forever.)
-and abt 3 grands to save

so it aint so bad to be still in army. i just can't imagine sch next year. but nonetheless i believe God is preparing me. Amen.

Updates

2009-08-24T18:49:00.003+08:00

It's been ages since I last visited and scribbled something here. I think life is really seasonal. At least mine is. There are times that I feel that I really need to journal down things that are happening in my life. And after a few months of faithful writing you just disappeared. Somewhere along the way you lost your way because you were tight down with something else. You lost the habit. Now I really believe good habits are so much harder to develop. Haha anyway whatever the case, I'll try my best to update.

The past week had been crazy. I played for 3 slots for our global conference, out of which in between 2 slots I had to book in to camp. I really felt like awol-ing since my sir thought I took a full day leave. But oh well, I guess I had to choose to do the right thing then. No one actually understands the agony of travelling all the way to the extreme left corner of singapore to book in. Haha it feels like shit, really.

But then again that night I was really blessed with the last night session of the GC. The holy spirit literally flooded the entire nexus auditorium like never before. I felt so privileged to be able to serve. And guess what, it was the entire youth worship team serving in the last night of the global conference! Haha so so cool can! I can really see our team starting to impact the churches globally. Awesome man! Looking forward to more breakthroughs!

The Devil's Treat

2009-08-10T02:58:00.001+08:00

The Devil's Treat

he told me that I'm all alone, he suggested that a bit of compromise is okay, because, things will somehow eventually work out, he showed me flesh, he made me believe that i can live a better life without His directions, he made me think that it's all about me, he doesn't have to teach me witchcraft or satanism, all he needs to do is to get my mind off Him, and that's child's play for him.

save me, Dad.

The missing box

2009-05-12T16:20:00.004+08:00

^{1 Chronicles 25:5-9

5} Amaziah called the people of Judah together and assigned them according to their families to commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds for all Judah and Benjamin. He then mustered those twenty years old or more and found that there were three hundred thousand men ready for military service, able to handle the spear and shield. ⁶ He also hired a hundred thousand fighting men from Israel for a hundred talents of silver.

⁷ But a man of God came to him and said, "O king, these troops from Israel must not march with you, for the LORD is not with Israel—not with any of the people of Ephraim. ⁸ Even if you go and fight courageously in battle, God will overthrow you before the enemy, for God has the power to help or to overthrow."

⁹ Amaziah asked the man of God, "But what about the hundred talents I paid for these Israelite troops?"
The man of God replied, "The LORD can give you much more than that."

What am I doing?

2009-04-16T18:57:00.011+08:00

What am I doing to extend God's kingdom now?

That's the question that I used to hear a lot and think abt a lot when I was serving in my JC days. Somehow thru the years that I've been in church, this question no longer came across my mind as often as it did and should have. Recently I spent some time to think and reflect abt the things that I'm doing now. Compared to the things that I used to do back in pastoral, they are so different. Yes, we talk abt doing different things in the body of Christ to fulfil a single purpose. But somehow along the way, some ppl(myself included) have lost track of that single purpose and our hearts subtly start to grow cold and harden towards this very fundamental qns: 'What are we doing now to extend His kingdom?'

Well I guess for older believers, it's very much easier to react fast and list out one whole bunch of things that we're doing to 'extend His kingdom'. We may be serving, and what we do to serve may have extended His kingdom in one way or another, but our hearts and minds are not as engaged and focused on extending His kingdom as how much God wants us to be. In the light of that, we've started to lose track of our purpose yet again.

Recently the big leaders from Hope Bangkok did terrible terrible things, and a series of bad things, things that the Bible warned us not to do, have happened. I read the news yesterday and the headline news on the front page was 'Violent street protests raged in Bangkok'. I wondered, are they somehow related to the fall of our Bangkok church's top leadership? Are those the repercussions of the sins of our leaders? And as I look into the Bible on how the whole Israel fell when one man, the man over the entire nation, turned his back from God, I start to believe that yes they are related, 'strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered.' zech 13:7

Yes! I need to constantly remind myself of this question over and over again.

Is my guitar discipling extending God's kingdom?
Is my guitar playing extending God's kingdom?
Is my band-leading extending God's kingdom?
Are my words and actions in church/at home/in camp extending God's kingdom?
Are my impure/evil thoughts and motives hindering me from extending God's kingdom?

Is ________ that I'm doing for my own gain or for extending God's kingdom?
Eat the humble pie and ask yourselves that. It'll help you grow a lot.

Reliance

2009-04-02T14:13:00.004+08:00

Last night me, puay, simon, daixuan and huiyang headed over to simon's place to attempt to record some songs for the easter short film. We were supposed to meet at 1830 hrs, but guess what, we met at 2030 hrs coz simon was held back really late in camp. By the time we reached simon's place, settled down, waited for the rough cut of the easter short film to be downloaded, it was alr 2130 hrs! But we really thank God that we still managed to write the most important song for the short film - a song abt forgiveness. And I really learnt alot from that recording session!

To write a good song when you're just an average guitar player, you'll need,
1. A keyboardist (Huiyang)
2. A lyricists and melody composer (Puaylin)
3. A good place to record (Simon's place)
4. Recording equipments (Simon)
5. An awesome singer to bring out the song (Daixuan)
6. A sustain pedal for the keyboard (apparently simon didn't have it so we'll have record the proper one another day haha)

And I tell you, the song was literally given by God. I was sitting on the shuttle bus to camp yesterday morning as usual, had a pretty rough night trying to compose songs(and nothing came out). But I guess I was relying too much on my own efforts, my own music knowledge, my own skills, and it was all abt myself last night. I told God on the bus like as if talking to a friend sitting beside me that I really need Your help. Then help came, the chords were ringing in my head, everything was so clear, I knew exactly where to play what to play. I picked up the guitar immediately after I reached office, everything fell into place like how amino acids will form up in line to produce proteins. The feeling was good, because God is really good.

And I thank God for people like puay, yang, simon and dx who were there to wrap up the song so perfectly. YAY!

More songs tonight. Jiayi's bday. Prac for svc. Chords. Blah blah. I'm gonna rely on God.

Goodbye 1/4

2009-03-30T13:40:00.003+08:00

Yes ONE QUARTER OF THE YEAR IS GONE! Imagine u eating pizza, and one corner is now gone - that's the part of the year that is gone. Haha so fast right. Remember counting down to 2009? IT'S APRIL ALREADY!

Haha AND that means erm... 15 more months to ORD! (or rather ROD)
Ok la not exactly very encouraging but hell yeah 9 months sweeped by like a bullet train.

On the side note, I spent $100 this month! PURELY ON FOOD AND TRANSPORT! I didn't buy anything related to guitar and I survived. Haha! -pats back

Anyways just went to cookhouse alone and met some familiar faces. Saw alex at the cookhouse. Haha gonna miss him man. All the best in OCS! And yeah I'm gonna miss not seeing shawn at cookhouse too. But I'm really glad he survived 9 months in OCS. I guess God really pulled him through man. Throughout my 9 months of lunching at OCS dining hall, I saw many cadets came and went, some from ny, some from zhonghua, some, well I just remember faces.

Yay thank God that ame's bday yesterday was a success! Haha hope she loved the lunch and dunks! Now I have to squeeze my brain juices for Operation TWENTYONE - the QUEEN party! Haha ay this is what happens when you're an nsf in your cg. Lol and apparently I'm very lousy at birthday plannings. Help!

Financial Deficit in the Midst of Recession

2009-03-04T15:41:00.006+08:00

It's been a week since I last blogged. Nothing interesting in my life, except having left $27.80 in my account. SHIET!

I spent at least $2k in the past 3 months. Killer.

Pedals:
-Boss FDR $210 (thought it was a preamp, waste $$)
-Boss DD5 $230 (needed a digital delay, useful)
-Boss FS5U $35 (needed a tap tempo to use together with DD5, useful)
-Boss Keeley Mod BD2 $180 (very nice clear overdrive great for blues and LB songs, useful)
-Wampler Pinnacle $280 (good dist pedal but doesn't suit single coils, waste $$)
-Sansamp GT2 $200 (needed a preamp, but sounds muffled when played thru nexus, abit waste$$)
-MXR phaser 90 $90 (very useful! for praise esp)

Guitar cases
-Electric hardcase $60 (needed a hardcase to store fender cij, useful)
-Acoustic softcase $50 (needed a softcase to store takamine, useful)

Guitar amps:
-Vox AD30VT $260 (impulse but it's a really good & cheap digital modelling amp, abit waste $$)

Pickups:
-Lace sensor holy grail $70 (needed a middle noiseless pup for fender cij, useful)
-Boss DB6 Metronome $90 (useful tool for every single musician)
-Dimarzio Area '58 x 2 $305 (very expensive! but powerful single coil stacks, sounds awesome, quite useful)
-Changing pickups $25 (could have done it with simon's help, waste $$)

Misc:
-Acoustic preamp rack bag $48 (needed a bag for acoustic preamp rack, useful)
-Misc stuff(lemon oil, fast fret, capo, cables, daisy chains etc.) - $110 (useful)

A stunning $2243.

I think God is rebuking me for spending so much. I'm spending more than I'm earning. And there goes all my savings. Some stuffs are bought out of necessity, but some are just out of impulse. I should really stop, pray and start selling some unnecessary stuffs on my board. Sigh. What were you thinking kai?

Heck.

2009-02-24T15:59:00.008+08:00

Feeling shitty. Sucks man. Hate this feeling.

Goodbye Marshall Halfstack!

2009-02-23T14:39:00.006+08:00

It has been a happening week, or rather weekend. I played for combined svc for the first time this year at suntec convention hall! Haha I was so impressed by the vastness of the arena, the size of the stage, and of course, the equipments they provided, which resulted in the awesome sonor experience. I believe God has spoken to many in the svc, esp through the powerful, heartfelt sermon by ps jeff. Awesome la! The team I worked with were all familiar people coz most are from the youth side. And I believe it was quite a breakthrough for Jerel as well(I think he played very well!) Yay thank God for him and the rest.

At the end of the 2 services, we all had to say our goodbyes to the 'Big Boys'! *sobs*

GOODBYE MARSHALL JCM900, MARSHALL VALVESTATE, THAT BRAND NEW DW DRUMSET, AND THE BASS AMP WHICH SOUNDED AWESOME TOO!

1st half of Feb!

2009-02-12T19:18:00.016+08:00

I'm promoted to LANCE CORPORAL! Haha yay $20 more! Lol anyway tonight is duty night. Come to think of it, this is actually my first duty for this year. LOL THANKS TO CHICKEN POX! Pox rox! Haha but ok la I would still have to return duties to the other cool pes E dudes who covered for me.

Woah it's only 7.30 and I'm alr feeling tired man. Sian. Must be the 10 laps yesterday. Haha yeah I can feel the ache all over my body now. But this kinda ache is damn shiok! Makes you feel that you're gonna turn into THE HULK! RRAWWRRRR!! Hahahaha ok la I think I'm gonna be damn cool. My flabs will turn into Phelps! Oh I heard he got sued.. What a waste! Even olympic champions can fail you! Haha too bad for those olympics fanatics.

Anyway I watched like 3 movies the past two weeks man. Haha sian la no money alr. Nonetheless the movies were all damn good! First up - Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. I think werewolves are damn cool. They should just kill all the blood-sucking pussies. Haha next - DEFIANCE! IT'S REALLY VERY GOOD. Not really action-PACKED. More of an inspirational film. It's about how the Bielskies led their fellow Russian Jews through the forest. THEY EVEN TRAINED THE WOMEN TO FIRE. Lol what a shame that my only gun is the computer keyboard! Hahaha what a loser! Last but not least I watched BUTTONS! Lol it's a film that you'll never watch twice. Coz it's like 2hrs46mins long! Haha but ok la it was nice. It's about this guy born old and grew younger and younger until he died. Interesting idea. Haha but I KNOW THEIR PLOY was to make brad pitt look damn old, frail and ugly at the first half of the show and finally when he grew abit 'older', all the girls in the cinema would go 'OH MY GAWD!' Haha they even showed him riding a motorbike with like sunglasses.. aiya purposely one la. Lol eh but brad pitt is just so freaking handsome!

Other than that I managed to meet Esso(Esther and Alfonso) last week and Cyril(my new disciple!) this week. Had a fruitful lesson with them, hope they really learnt something and THEY'LL PRACTISE HARD! Haha yeah man. Ok that roughly sums up the first half of my February. Will blog more after my date on valentines' day ;) Hahaha.

2009-02-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

I SWAM 10 LAPS TODAY. and i took an hour. :(

Help me sell those!

2009-02-04T13:16:00.011+08:00

Okay after nights of listening, rearranging, tweaking and tweaking. Here's the conclusion:

I'M SELLING MY WAMPLER PINNACLE AND BOSS FDR-1!

The wampler pinnacle is really good(on the demos on youtube where everything they use are boutique), what a pity that it sounds really muffled on the 'modern' mode and super duper jarring on the 'vintage' mode. I just can't get something balanced out of it. IT COST ME LIKE ALMOST 300 BUCKS! Maybe it's my preamp, maybe it's my guitar, maybe it's the pickups, maybe maybe...

Hai and I just wasted another 200 bucks buying a Boss FDR-1. FDR stands for Fender Deluxe Reverb - YES that's one of the classic Fender tube amps. SOOO silly me mistook it as a preamp, but the truth is it only makes your amp sound like a FDR amp but on itself it's practically nothing. So since we're playing without amps in nexus, that thing is U-S-E-L-E-S-S! And it clashes so badly with my Sansamp GT2 when the distortion is on-ed. Like the TV got no reception sound before Sadako climbs out of it. Super sian. It's economic crisis and here I am wasting lots of money.

Gear in use.

2009-02-03T00:24:00.002+08:00

Guitars:
Fender MIM 60th Anniversary Strat
Fender CIJ ST62-80TX

Pedals:
Artec Big Dots Tuner
Wampler Pinnacle 2
MI Audio Crunchbox
Fulltone OCD V3
MXR 6-Band EQ
Marshall Supervibe Chorus
Boss RV5
Boss FDR-1
Artec Analog Delay
Boss DD5
Sansamp GT2

I think I have some pretty neat stuffs there. But hmm... I really should start selling some stuffs.

Monday blues

2009-02-02T10:56:00.006+08:00

C'mon sing da Monday blues with me!

EaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaA
I've got the monday blues oh yea..
AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaEaaaE
And everybody's feelin` the same..
AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaA
I've got the monday blues oh yea..
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa E
And I ain't gonna go nowhere..
BaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaA
And the monday blues won't go away..
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaE does a turnaround
Oh Lord help me take those blues away..

Sing those blues baby.

Okay fine.

2009-02-01T17:40:00.008+08:00

Minutes after posting the entry below, God spoke like a radio playing your favourite song the moment you turn it on.

Psalm 20:7

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

If it's written in the book of Kaiwen 20:7 it would sound something like:

Some trust in their own skills and some in their own equipment,
but I trust in the name of the Lord my God who will use me despite my inadequacy to move His spirit in the hearts of His people.

ALRIGHT YOU WIN.

Guitar playing

2009-02-01T17:25:00.013+08:00

There are times you feel that you totally suck at your guitar playing. Everything you play sounds like shit due to your nerves+palm sweat+lack of concentration+lack of practice+a damn shitty tone even though you've spent like thousands of cash on your gear.

Yesterday was such a day. Technical stuffs I guess. But I have to move on.

Mood: Discouraged :(

And the long holiday ends...

2009-01-29T13:33:00.008+08:00

Yes my long chicken pox mc has finally come to an end. Two weeks of staying at home was yes boring, nonetheless it felt good to just stay at home to relax/read bible/play guitar/watch videos/do pushups and not travel 3 hours a day to and fro camp. Of course I missed my camp, my boss, my malay and chinese friend.

So coming back to work isn't that bad, it was quite refreshing actually. My malay is still as funny, my chinese friend is not so lazy(that's a good thing, really.), and quite a number of the others just kena-ed extras for stupid things like talking back to sgts, waking up late next morning after the night of duty, slping during office hours etc etc. Haha and guess what, someone stole my No. 3 shoes. So I have to burn a hole in my 11B and get a new pair from e-mart, oh well let's just forget abt it.

Work is just work. Routine orders parade state course-graduation preparations printing bday cards applying and cancelling leave for lazy ppl buying food and drinks for BIG boss delivering and collecting mails handling mcs. Haha sounds simple right? Wait till you have to do them all at the same time.

Last night I chionged chords until 1am. Damn tired.

Dinner with yihui and luan later. And I need to practice TODAY IS THE DAY. Hai the solo is SO HARD. GOD!

2009-01-15T19:52:00.000+08:00

I'm BORED.

2009-01-12T14:49:00.003+08:00

Okay out of absolute randomness, I decided to post a picture of my pedalboard! Haha?!

CHICKEN POX!

2009-01-12T14:28:00.002+08:00

YES it's really chicken pox. THEY MAY BE SMALL, but when they start screaming 'SCRATCH ME SCRATCH ME!', the feeling sucks like hell. Lol ok la the doctor gave me calamine lotion. Works really well. Hope I will be okay by Wednesday. GOD GRANT ME SPEEDY RECOVERY! AMEN. Haha I shall spend more time with God, at least He won't get infected.

Sick.

2009-01-09T13:03:00.005+08:00

Feeling rather crappy now - aching all over my body+headache. But no fever though. Hope it's not chicken pox. Lol sat in peter's car last week when he was in the midst of having chicken pox. ARGHH and yes i never had chicken pox in my life before. The good thing is if I really kena, I can get TWO WEEKS OF MC! But then again, I'm playing for svc tmr, cpm next friday, svc next week.

GOD I CAN'T FALL SICK!! unless you allow me to. Haha oh well guess I really have to trust You in this man.

Anyway Daniel wants to do the crazy Lincoln Brewster rendition of 'Salvation is Here'. GODSPEED KAI!!

Brand new year, brand new start, brand new challenges

2009-01-08T10:40:00.004+08:00

Oh well i'm back again blogging! I doubt anyone visits anymore. lol sorry for being unfaithful in this. anyway it's 2009! yeah it took me abt a week to realise that. 2008 had been really fun, carefree and filled with joy. it was my 'debut' year in y-wam. haha alot of perspectives were widened throughout this year. looking back, i think i played for almost every major event this year. i played for every single ess(at least 1 out of 2), easter, christmas, camp concerts, jump.. ohh except for the 2 cpms. haha wad a privilege to be able to serve God in the area of my passion. i think one of the key resolutions for me this year is not to NOT get involved in EVERY single church level events. lol not because i wanna slack off. but because it's time to train up NEW GUITARISTS! haha. well a good start would be the upcoming cpm on 16th jan. i'll be playing with a fellow ex-northeastian who is in tertiary now. it's gonna be a great opportunity to share my knowledge and experiences. and of course the key is not only to impart skills but spirit as well. hope i can learn something from him as well.

TO-DO LIST for first half of this year

1. Train esther to be independent in figuring out songs and practising

2. Meet up the new faces! james, cyril and aaron

3. disciple an electric guitarist

4. learn more blues and rock

5. finish the bible

6. start my long broken book reading habit

7. lose weight and save money just like the past 5 years

8. visit every district prayer meet at least once

9. bring 2 friends to christ

10. bring my brother to hope kids

11. complete driving

12. visit my grandparents in shanghai

lol ok that's quite a long list for now. will blog more when i complete some of them. good bye ppl and happy new year!

Re-visit to my blog!

2008-11-17T12:26:00.006+08:00

I don't think many ppl would be reading this coz of the disappointment they'd faced everytime they visit this blog. Haha TOO BAD! One of the things that God spoke to me in the previous camp was to be more faithful, I guess I haven't been very faithful with my blog. But if you ask me honestly how have I responded and grown in this area for the past 5 months, hmmm tough qns man.

Looking back at the past 5 months from the previous camp onwards, there are many things that maybe I've done right, maybe I could have done better, or maybe I could do. I kinda missed the JC days where ppl around you can identify with what you're going through, back then we spoke the same language, had the same problems, shared the same music and interests, hanging out with them was so much easier then. Maybe if I'd enlisted into the earlier batches with the JC dudes and go through army like a normal kid, things could have been much different. Sometimes I really ask God why do I sit in office facing my malay friend who talks melayu with his malay girlfriends. Can I really live with this guy for the next one year and influence him in any ways?

But I think he's not that bad, at least he invites me to his malay friends' karaoke sessions(with all malay songs) which I had no second thoughts abt turning him down. And if you walk out of my office, at the other corner of the building lies a bunch of chinese dudes, and I meant it when I said 'chinese' because when I listen to their conversations I thought I went back to China. Yup they discuss chinese media, artists, songs that I've never heard of. I stammer everytime I try speaking chinese with them. Gosh they make singaporean chinese proud man but I seriously don't give a shit abt that.

At the beginning you anticipated the weekends to come like the schools holidays when you were still a kid. But comes sunday and you realised that wow it's all ending so fast and I'm going back tomorrow again. And soon enough before you even realise, you won't anticipate weekends as much coz you know it's never enough for you. And sometimes on saturdays, getting so caught up doing service, playing guitar, it gets abit tiring. All you need right then was maybe a friend that you can talk to. I feel like I'm hanging on the vertical pole instead of a cross. Living a life where army ppl around you are really so shallow and corrupted, and you have no idea what the hell are they doing outside. Man what is this.

But then I realise that this is the test of faithfulness. Faith can only exist in a world where faith is difficult. We don't need to have faith that one plus one gives a two or a square has four equal sides. But knowing and believing that God is there for you everyday, that requires faith. Every morning I see so many different faces on that one hour train ride to boonlay, and those faces screams of how much hope and faith they need in order to carry on. The christian community cannot be weak in our faith, because we know the truth. The truth is if ppl don't know God, they would perish. And we know that that's not what our God wants. So we need to ask ourselves how are we being an influence to wherever God has placed us right now. Are we being faithful to the things and ppl that God has put into our lives? But it's so difficult. Argh..

2008-08-26T20:15:00.004+08:00

Gonna fast, gonna pray, gonna have self-control.
I can do it not because I can, but because You are with me.
And we can do this together. Amen.

Mike Guglielmucci and us

2008-08-25T10:00:00.023+08:00

Most of you might have heard the news abt Mike, the guy from planetshakers who wrote the song 'Healer'. To be honest, it's really shocking to hear that the story of his cancer was all a make up to divert ppl's attention away from the fact that he couldn't break free from the struggle with adult pornography. He is a pastor, worship leader, musician, songwriter, and I believe that thousands are probably very disappointed, shocked and even angry upon hearing the statement that someone with such great spiritual statute has actually covered up his big time sin with a big time lie. And now he's stripped of all his credentials and appointment as a pastor in planetshakers. But before we as readers start to point fingers and judge, I think we should do a check on our own lives first; maybe after doing a thorough scan of our heart motives, we probably don't have the guts to judge our poor fella here anymore.

John 8:1-11

1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Luke 6:36-37

36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
37"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

I was reminded of these two passages when I was reading the statement. All of us are sinners, which means we all sin. We have to eliminate sin when it's implications are still small, before it leads to even more sins and then soon after, before we even know it - the fear of condemnation, rebuke and shame has already overruled our ability to make the right choice, which is of course to seek help from our leaders. Pride will then fill our hearts, and soon we'll start coming up with lies, and these lies breed even more lies and finally we begin to lose faith in God, thinking that we can't be an overcomer in Christ afterall and then we do the worst thing ever, that is to backslide away from God.

But at least in the end, Mike made the right choice. In the statement it wrote that he admitted it himself and I have to respect that because it's really not easy to confess it at this stage whereby his song and his testimony has already been published not only in planetshakers, but also in hillsong and churches all over the world. He could have just lied all the way and no one is gonna know about it and he could just end it off with,'I went to my doctor today and he told me that my cancer cells have mysteriously disappeared! Yes, God did a miracle in me!' But he chose to believe that the truth will set him free, he chose to do the right thing. And I believe by doing that, it serves as a powerful reminder to ppl out there who are hiding a particular sin and thought that he/she could never mount enough courage to let anybody know about it. We have to remember that God is a God of grace and second chances, and He has come to redeem us, not condemn us.

2008-08-18T13:42:00.003+08:00

Psalm 118:24

24 This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

It's never easy to rejoice in Mondays.

2008-08-06T22:30:00.005+08:00

The things you wished you've never done
The words you wished you've never said
God took them all away.

Birthdays birthdays

2008-08-03T01:53:00.007+08:00

Yeah man I survived 19 years, officially today. One of the busiest and most tired birthdays. Been busy with JUMP and basically a boring NS life. I guess everyone's busy.

2 days ago I just celebrated my bro's bday with my parents. We ate Fish & Co. for dinner and watched 'Mummy 3'. Had a great time with them man. My bro posted me with a rather interesting question, 'why do we celebrate bdays'. I couldn't really answer that, all that I came up with was, 'coz that was the day we were born and it's a good day.'

My love language is time, basically I don't need fanciful birthday celebrations. I just wanna spend time with my love ones and close friends. But well I kinda expected a rather unexciting bday this year, everyone's busy and stuff.

Anyway honestly I didn't really enjoy today. Hah it was quite dead after svc when everyone went for CLM. Had Astons with Walmond they all. Simon thought they were gonna treat me. Haha oh well but in the end it wasn't really so. Turned out to be just a normal dinner. It's okay, that steak was good. I really didn't wanna play lan, seriously, I quitted lan like 3 years ago. But in the end I still got dragged by them to play lan. Damn sian. Hah okay la, didn't wanna be a wet blanket. Had supper with Gideon and Shawn after that, couldn't hide from Gideon that I was rather disappointed today. But oh well, yeah it's true, we have to be understanding...

ANYWAY just wanna thank God for a few ppl:
Yihui and Siewluan, thanks for appearing with a cake at my doorstep at like 11pm on Monday night. I really didn't expect that man. You guys knew that I was gonna be damn busy this week and wouldn't have the time to celebrate. It's really really sweet and I appreciate it alot, AND THE DURIAN CAKE IS FREAKING AWESOME! Lol thanks thanks! :D

Qianjin, thanks for the 'cake' and hershley kisses. Haha and of coz the little humble sharing session we had after that. You're a shepherd who really takes effort to listen to your sheep and to me that's the most important role of a shepherd. Thanks I felt so much better after sharing today.

Gideon and Shawn, you guys knew me the longest in church. Haha Gideon! Thanks for spending time with me today even though you were like so tired. Appreciate your prayers, touched me alot. Shawn, what can I say man. You're the longest friend I knew in my life, it's been 7 years, and God has brought us so far. Haha thanks for everything dude.

A really humble birthday this year. But nonetheless, 19 marks a new phase, with new challenges ahead, new struggles, new growth points, new breakthroughs.

2008-07-31T13:51:00.003+08:00

And I still see you
In every sunflower
Every screaming sunflower

And how they scream, of you.

Long wait at the polyclinic

2008-07-28T18:00:00.004+08:00

Woke up today and felt that my throat was swimming in a pool of phlegm. EEEEWW! Hahaha yeah man I'm sick. I've been having a sorethroat since yesterday morning, sucks. Feels like your throat has gone all rusted. It got really bad this morning so I decided to get a day of MC. Lacking of cash, I left my house with my 11B and went to a polyclinic.

I discovered that now polyclinics have this new Self-Registration machine. Basically you just gotta scan your IC and you can get a queue number. Everything started well, I was 5 minutes earlier than a bunch of uncles who flooded around that 3 poor machines. And everything after that was about WAITING. I waited to get the queue number to see the doctor, waited to see the doctor, waited to get the queue number to get my medicine, waited to get my medicine, waited to pay for my medicine. I entered the polyclinic at 1040 and left at 1330. Close to 3 hours of waiting! But alright no complaining since it's free COZ I'M A SOLDIER! :DD

Hah feels nostalgic to go polyclinic man, my shelter and refuge during my JC days... LOL! JC students out there who wanna get straight As, pls don't visit the polyclinic too often!!

Happy Spiritual Birthday, Kai!

2008-07-26T23:58:00.011+08:00

Last week marked my 3rd year in Hope. It's amazing man, I never thought that I would actually stay in a church for so long. I used to think that Christianity was just another religion game, played in despair to attempt to reach into the 4th dimension and convince oneself that something supernatural actually exists and therefore our lives can get better. In other words, it's all just a bunch of nicely-packaged lies.

But things changed a lot after I came to Hope. I have experienced God in a manner that is way beyond explanation. It's more than just about going to church weekly and having that routine of praise and worship, holy communion and sermon. It's about having a genuine relationship with God. I never regretted knowing God, the only thing I can feel regretful about is not knowing God earlier. In the past I really felt like starting all over again because I screwed up time after time chasing skirts, achievements, popularity and gaining recognition in the things that I do. I finally found my restart button and it can only be God, it has to be, and it is. I can't imagine my life without Him.

My source of strength,
My source of hope,
Is Christ alone.

Now when I think back, Christianity is no longer just another religion game. I really thank God for all the people that have guided me and helped me to grow in this relationship with Him. 3 years have passed, God has brought me this far and I know He will bring me even further. From an unbeliever to a believer, to a shepherd, to a careleader, to a musician, to a discipler and so much more to come. I'm so excited about what God can do in my life and in the lives of others through mine.

Nothing in this world can satisfy me
Jesus You alone can fill me up
I could gain the world and all its treasures
But all those things can never be enough

Yes, I wanna be with Jesus forever. And all else fade away. Amen. :)

Long long time!

2008-07-18T21:31:00.006+08:00

Haha wow feels great to be back at my blog! The first thing that hit me when I visited my blog after a long time was that sometimes plans don't really work out the way you want them to. I guess plans can sound great, but it's much more than just writing them down or talking abt them.

I wanna read more books- But my train rides are the only chances for me to catch my slp.
I wanna go for mission trip- I bought tickets for Hongkong LC! :))
I wanna lose weight- Let's not talk abt that first. LOL.
I wanna save more money- Oh shit.
I wanna outreach- Working on it pretty well.

Proverbs 16:9

9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.

Well I guess no matter how good our plans can sound, we still have to commit them to God and pray continually. Cos at the end of the day God is still the one in control, He is still the one who takes the driver's seat and the steering wheel of our lives.

Many times I felt so tired and pointless, even though my NS life is so uninteresting to be mentioned abt compared to the Pes As & Bs, even the Pes Cs. I felt so alone and that no one could understand. Sometimes I just sit in the office and wonder why the hell am I here for, wasting my life away. But to think of it again, if I wasn't in that office, what else would I actually be doing. So is life that meaningless and boring? Whatever happened to life to the fullest with God. I'm just wondering. If you're reading this, please pray for me.

KAI’S 2 YEAR PLAN

2008-05-20T01:41:00.010+08:00

Okay here’s my 2 year plan. I guess 2 year means roughly from 2008 June to 2010 June right. Haha alright here goes:

I have divided it into 5 main aspects of my life:
1. Spiritual
2. Physical
3. Financial
4. Skills
5. Outreach

Just a few recent upcoming events happening in my life provided God doesn’t rapture me tomorrow or something:
1. Flying off to China from 30^th May to 8^th June, Fri to Sun
2. Youth Camp 9^th to 12^th June
3. Enlisting on 16^th June, Mon

I guess by listing down all these stuffs gives me a rough estimation of the amount of time I have in the upcoming months.

Time includes:
Work time (NS, tuition, teach guitar), family time, caregroup time, service time, ministry time, shepherding time, and other miscellaneous time.

Tentatively,
Work time:
-NS 0800 to 1700 every weekday
-Tuition Mon, Tue and Thur 1900 and Sun 0900, 1.5 hours each
-Teach guitar Wed 1830 to 2030

Family time:
-Fri (provided no svc prac), Sunday dinners

Okay the rest is unconfirmed.

I guess the main point is how I can work on the 5 main aspects of my life, where to start and what I wanna achieve at the end of 2 years. So let’s get the ball rolling shall we??

1. Spiritual – When I work in SAFTI MI in Jurong West which is like super far, I’ll definitely have amazing lengths of traveling time. Reading would be a great option when I’m on the train or bus provided that God provides me with a seat. I’m aiming to finish 1 book every 2 weeks so a lil’ math would work out 2 books in a month. I believe by reading, God will add a lot of insights and wisdom into my spiritual life.

I wanna learn more in the areas of leadership, worship, and relationship with God and people. The main opportunities to learn would be in cgs and after-svc fellowships, so I’ll make effort to allocate time for all of them. I also wanna grow in loving people more. I’m a natural critic, I tend to be quite judgmental at times. I think by loving people more I can learn to look at people in God’s perspective coz God loves all of us. Yeah man!

So the question is how can I learn to love people more, I believe one practical point would be a stronger prayer life. I’m gonna come up with a prayer list so as to pray for specific people on a regular basis. I think it’s only when we pray for others, we’ll grow to love them more. This is a personal one that I’m gonna commit to. I believe that this prayer list will kick start a new level of prayer life.

Another very important thing is that I need to start hunting for volunteer guitarists to disciple. Hmm I aim to find at least 1 by July this year and disciple 4 to become full time guitarists before I go uni.

I also wanna have a taste of missions within these 2 years coz I’ve never had any before. So I’ll take leave to go for one mission trip probably nearing the end of this year or something. I strongly believe that I can learn a lot from missions so I really hope I can go for one.

2. Physical – Okay this part is quite sensitive. My weighing machine currently says that I’m 75 kg. Gotta do something abt it man. I’m hoping to lose 10 kg by the end of this year. I think it’s really damn hard but in the name of Jesus I’m gonna do it! Haha probably night jogs and weekend morning gym and basketball sessions. At least 3 times of exercise per week. And NO FASTFOOD!

3. Financial – My pay after I enlist would be $400 per month I think. With an additional $380 from tuition, and around $120 per month from teaching guitar. Altogether I’ll earn around $900 per month. My expenses would mainly include meals, transport, clothes and guitar stuffs in these 2 years coz I have nothing but a chao slack and yet time consuming army life. I hope to save around $400 a month. So by the end of 2 years I’ll have about $9600. I spend a lot on food and have a very bad cabbing habit. This will help control my spending so as to save up for future mission trips, blessing other people (bdays etc.), books, CDs, guitar lessons and I can also buy a laptop for myself at the end of the 2 years after I enter uni.

4. Skills – GUITAR! Haha I’m gonna learn guitar from this guy called Daniel Chai I hope. I think it’ll be around $50 per hour. I have no idea what he’s gonna teach me but I’m sure that I’ll improve a lot if I really get to learn from him. I hope to learn better improvisation skills on guitar like solo-ing ideas and develop an arsenal of licks. So that in free worship, the Holy Spirit can use whatever I know to move better through the vast range of ideas that I have. Another thing is driving, for traveling convenience, I’ll start learning right after I enlist. Probably taking night or weekend lessons.

5. Outreach – I know in pastoral, this could easily mean a school I wanna win for Jesus, hitting a specific goal by a specific time. But as a PES E army boy, this could get quite uncertain. Seriously I have no idea what to expect when I’m gonna be a clerk for the next 2 years in SAFTI MI. But I really pray that God will let me meet people during my NS life to sow on. I wanna bring at least 3 people to know Christ by the end of my army life. My ex CL said before that if you wanna bring 1 person to church, you gotta have 10 responsive contacts to secure 1 visitor on that Sat svc. So that means mine would be 30 contacts in 2 years. I seriously don’t know how this is gonna work out but I really pray that God will use my life to bring hope to the PES E people. Haha yeah man! Probably meet another guy that loves to play guitar also.

Another outreach goal is my family’s conversion by the end of 2 years. This sounds quite impossible especially for my dad. But I’m gonna take one step at a time. Firstly my mom is already very receptive towards Jesus. My relationship with my brother grew a lot better recently. I hope to bring my mother and brother to church on a regular basis by the end of this year. And I also pray for opportunities for me to speak to my dad and talk about my church life. This would definitely be a stepping stone for my dad to come closer to know who God is and what my church is doing. Hopefully he comes for this year’s Christmas and his opinion of church and Christians will change. Therefore this upcoming overseas trip on 30^th May is very important as it’s a rare time that we can live together and spend everyday together. Hopefully I will have opportunities to share Christ to my relatives as well in this trip.

Meaning of Worship

2008-05-03T00:22:00.010+08:00

About half an hour ago I was in the toilet and I was asking God what I should do after that. Then a couple of ideas came to my head like watching a movie, play guitar, talk to some random ppl online. Okay then God replied, 'Why don't you worship me?' Haha I was like, 'err God I meant ENTERTAINMENT. Worship is not exactly very ENTERTAINING. And plus I'm not in the mood to worship and play guitar right now. And I'm having sorethroat so I can't sing. And my poor nail on my right hand index finger just cracked and I just cut it short yesterday so I can't pluck properly.' Then I realised that was just a whole lot of excuses. Amazing how I can actually think of so many. Haha so I got out of the toilet, picked up my guitar and entered my comfortable air-conned room.

I said, 'Okay God. I'm gonna play in the key of D now alright. That sounds pretty good.' So there I went enjoying my plucking in D. But a few chords later God kinda dragged me to the G key. I was like 'eh wahlao G is so boring man.' But somehow God told me not to change key or stop playing. So I went on plucking and plucking. Just plucking. Then a miracle happened. Okay there wasn't any lightning or thunder or fire shooting down from the sky on the tree outside my window. I just felt very very peaceful. I'm not even playing what I'm playing, in fact I believe God was the one playing. I didn't sing probably because God knew how bad I would sound with my sorethroat. I was just enjoying God's presence in the room and praising Him in my heart.

The thing is, after the worship ended, I just can't recall what I played. But I knew it was kinda like a hybrid of bass notes and melody at the high notes and it sounded super nice and I really loved it. I tried to figure them out but I just can't get the exact same thing. Then at that point of time, God spoke to me, saying, 'Hey kid. That's the meaning of worship. It's when you let me take control. I can do what you can't.' I was like, 'Woh-ho-ho. Now THAT IS damn cool man.' Hahaha and He impressed upon my heart that what He did on my guitar just then was just a small spark compared to the measure of how much He can do through me.

At that moment I really believed that with God in control of worship, we can definitely bring it to the next level - something way beyond what we can do. For some of you it may be something 'duh' maybe coz you've heard it alot of times or whatever. But for me it served as a really good reminder in which to what extent am I actually allowing God to take over my life right now. Yeah man thank God and I feel really prepared for service tmr!

YEAHH! I FEEL AS STRONG AS SAMSON NOW THOUGH I JUST HAD A HAIRCUT TODAY! WHEE!!

Amazing Service

2008-04-21T02:32:00.008+08:00

Singing and playing had been tiring on Saturday, but I can really see how God had brought me and the whole band through the whole praise and worship session. I was amazed by how it all turned out; the overall sound and the response from the congregation was simply overwhelming. I never knew that a 4-piece could sound so full and dynamic. I think technical stuffs aside, I believe it was really God who was in control of the team. We were just used by Him as instruments to deliver His presence to the people's hearts.

I'm very convicted and excited to carry this on for the subsequent services. I saw how an extra attention paid to the technical parts like sound, choice of effects and fill-in notes etc. could make so much difference to the overall dynamics. Let's keep it up man! Praise and worship can change lives!! :D

Psalm 33:2-4

2 Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

3 Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.

4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.

Sending off the NS guys

2008-04-10T00:35:00.005+08:00

Today is the day that a few of my close friends are enlisting into army: Shawn, Luke and Shem. BOYS TO MEN!! LOL wahlao I woke up at 6.30am to travel all the way to PASIR RIS interchange(thank God my mom fetched coz it's near her workplace if not I'll just die on the train.)

Anyway not really in the mood to write stuffs now, so I'll just post some pics.

God is closer than you think

2008-04-09T00:53:00.034+08:00

Hey guys I've got a testimony to share! Though it's just a couple of small things, they're still very impactful to my life and hope they can impact yours, too. :D

Okay today is tuition day. I was gonna have to go and teach that fantastic p5 boy again LIKE SIAN. Haha I seriously felt like ponning tuition(just like the good old days back in JC.) Okay la my shep told me to try a different approach towards him. Initially I was like no point la seriously. Then the thing is somehow I was reminded by what Shirley mentioned in her sermon last week. I think she said something like 'at times we keep complaining that God didn't answer our prayers but the thing is did we even pray abt it in the first place?' Haha okay la so I decided to pray and ask God to somehow work something out for today's tuition as the past few had been blood-boiling experiences.

Then I thought since I'm praying so might as well pray for more. Lol so I prayed that the bus to that boy's house would arrive at the interchange immediately after I reached there so that I don't have to wait for it. And it really happened, so thank God I wasn't late in fact 15 minutes early.

And you know what guys the surprising thing was that today p5 boy suddenly became smarter and could understand what I'm saying. Lol yes and it was quite enjoyable teaching him abt reproduction(no hints.) The scary thing was that halfway through the tuition, 2 GIANT BEES flew into the house and got me quite disturbed coz I didn't wanna get stung or anything, so I prayed for them to either DISAPPEAR or DIE. And to my amazement, one of them just disappeared and the other one died mysteriously on the floor(I think it sprained its ankle or something.)

Okay tuition ended, I took out my thermometer in the lift and stuffed it into my blood veins and thankfully it wasn't boiling. Lol yeah alright man! Okay next when I was crossing the road I saw this familiar looking bus so I dashed with all my might in my flip flops and sling bag which constantly hit my butt while I was running haha err okay. And as I was running and throwing my arms around in the air trying to get the bus driver's attention, I kinda recalled that my ezlink was only left with -$1.20. I was like OH CRAP! So at that moment I only had 3 choices,
a) Act as if I'm crazy and just run pass the bus
b) Act as if I was running for the bus behind
c) Tell the bus driver I got myopia

Haha okay I knew all these couldn't work so I just quickly prayed that somehow the bus driver would let me off. I went up the bus, tapped my card, and was greeted by 'PAY CASH' and flashing red lights and alerts from the small machine. Then I reached into my wallet and pretended to be shocked and turned around and gave the bus driver a pitiful face and said, 'Uncle, wo mei you coin.' Then he went like 'MEI YOU COIN?! MEI YOU COIN?!' He repeated that like 3 times, and then he went 'never mind la.' Woah thank God man! I thought all bus drivers are niao ppl, but today I encountered otherwise.

Basically that's my little testimony, thank God for all the answered prayers. Small things but yet very significantly proving that He's closer than I think.

Once skinny, now FAT.

2008-04-07T12:58:00.003+08:00

Okay guys I found this picture of myself taken 3 years ago. And so this is how 65 kg feels like. Haha SIAN.

Ankle-spraining spree

2008-04-03T15:44:00.005+08:00

Just played basketball with some random ppl: Shawn, Martin, Rayson, Junliang, Luke and Freedy. AND GUESS WHAT GUYS, I SPRAINED MY ANKLE AGAIN!! HOHO! It's really traumatizing when you land with your foot in the awkward(tilted) position, and the next thing you know is that you have rested your whole body weight on your ankle and you just totally twist it to one side(OUCH!). Sian I think I'm developing a weak joint, sprained the same spot for like 5 times alr. Haha oh well.

Since Shawn was the 'culprit', we got him to pray for my ankle. And you know what guys, the cool thing was that the pain alleviated almost immediately after the prayer(I even tried walking, NO PAIN!) Now I can even rotate my ankle without feeling any pain, amen God is good man! :D Maybe Shawn has the gift of healing, but then again he also did pray for no more injuries from then on. Haha then the funniest thing was abt 5 minutes after I sprained my ankle, FREEDY SPRAINED HIS ANKLE! LMAO so we're like the casualties of the day. Haha but okay la his was only a slight sprain(but trust me it's still very painful.)

Despite all these, still wanna thank God for the great weather and a great time of fellowship with random ppl. Haha alright gotta go meet some random guy to sell him my acoustic hardcase for $20. Yay money! And that's gonna last me till Sunday -_-' Hmm shall pray that God will provide more! :D

God is a random God to us

2008-04-01T04:00:00.011+08:00

This is a very random thought, but I think God is a random God, at least to me la. One way of explaining this is that God has everything in control, and with human eyes of course we cannot see everything. So we can be thinking of one thing at one time when there are like a few million other things going on. And since God is in control of everything, so He can be spotting where Mas Selamat is hiding, AND at the same time feeling very sad for the starving kids in Africa, AND also making sure that Hillsong is writing that new song in the correct key, AND many many other things like holding back the rain for a great bbq session for a particular CG, guiding us for our test the next day, calculating if this particular plate movement will cause any major earthquakes, is that ship gonna sink, whose the next president of Taiwan, how to save the polar bears because of global warming, etc. AND of course, listening to all prayers.

Therefore to us God is a very random God doing alot of random stuffs, but to God Himself He's just controlling everything. And as we learn to grow to be more Christ-like, the randomness of God in our sight decreases more and more as we are able to see Him and comprehend His ways better. Haha okay I seriously have no idea how to explain this more clearly but I do hope it makes sense to you.

Died on Sunday

2008-03-31T03:36:00.019+08:00

Today(or rather yesterday) was the day that I died man seriously. In the end I only slept for 1 hour last night. HAHA! Woke up like a zombie to wash up and get ready for tuition. I could see all the complicated blood vessels in my eyes like super red which kinda reminded me that God is really a very detailed God. Haha okay nvm that's quite random.

Okay first let's talk abt tuition and let me describe to you how fantastic the P5 boy was.
-He did his vocabulary MCQ without knowing a single word in the choices
-He didn't know how to use a dictionary
-His grammar exercise only got 4/10
-He couldn't differentiate between 'cross' and 'across'
-He didn't know what's prepositions
-He couldn't spell the word 'example'
-And many more...

I scolded him quite badly and he almost cried at the 'cross' and 'across' part. Well he almost died 'at the cross' too. Haha ay I think I really gotta work on my patience man.
Aiya but good thing is he improved alot on his synthesis and transformation, last time he got 0/5 but today he managed to get 4/5. Haha ok la not so bad.

Today MinOps outing was great, just that I was too tired and didn't bother explaining how I didn't sleep well last night and all. Despite the heavy clouds, God still managed to hold back the rain at the beach after a while. Glad that Ethan really enjoyed himself at his last CG though I couldn't be there for long. So sorry! :( Anyway all the best in Tertiary man!

Another thing at the outing was that I managed to get to know this guy that Sherman brought to svc yesterday. His name is Qizhi which kinda sounds like 'flag' or 'chinese chess' HAHA. And he plays guitar! Then me and Simon went like 'YES! Woohoo~!' I wanted to 'OOSH!' but that's so Qianjin LOL! Anyway hope Qizhi can join our meat club soon then he can be beef steak or something since he's quite big. LOL erm no offence! Oh btw Simon is hotdog, Sherman is bacon and I'm err ham. Yeah coz Jiayi started this whole 'Kaiwen look like hamburglar right!' thing the moment I stepped into this group. Hahaha! Oh well guess I gotta change specs soon.

Last thing before I knocked out today was the guitar lesson. Jonquek, Gavin, Limin, Dingcheun and Darren came down. Taught them more chord progressions and some basic plucking. AND DARREN IS SERIOUSLY GOOD NOW. Haha well to consider the fact that he had zero knowledge of guitar when I first started this lesson. Within a short span of 4 months he had tremendous improvements man. His strumming is very steady and chord transitions are very smooth now. Continue to work hard man! Haha yay and thank God for all the rest who worked hard as well! Like Gav, Jon, DC, Siewluan, Limin, Qinning, Kat and my SHEPHERD! You guys rock! :D

After the lesson I just knocked out totally until 2am. Haha I should go and slp somemore now. Nights people!

Insomnia

2008-03-30T04:59:00.014+08:00

Suffering from insomnia again hence decided to come back to my com. Alright just set up a new blog.

Let's talk abt my day today(or rather yesterday). Went for Raphael's grads meet before svc. We had games, worship, teaching and subsequently the guys were separated from the girls for some NS talk. Well to sum it all up, the feeling was kinda bittersweet like what Raphael said. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were serving together as a JC group, and in a flash people are gonna transfer and move on to a new ministry. I think I could roughly comprehend that same feeling. Oh well. Guess we all have to grow up and do greater things for God.

After svc I went to join NYSR's grads farewell dinner at some Jap restaurant. It turned out to be the restaurant that I almost worked in but I just couldn't find the stupid place that time. Haha ay nvm that's not important anymore. At the dining table I was really glad to see new faces, people like Sikuan, Zhenzhi, Michelle and Jiajia. Thank God for the group for working so hard throughout the pioneering period and therefore God blessed them with fruits. Like what my ex-shepherd said before, new people would mean new challenges, new issues, new breakthroughs, new friendships and hence new experiences. Just wanna take some time to offer my prayers to the new NYSR group. May God be with you guys.

My last agenda at the dinner was to talk to my sheep. Made an excuse to get him along to withdraw money with me at Centrepoint. Hope I spoke some sense to him today. Anyway, will really miss this fella who sticked with me throughout my JC life. To me you're definitely more than just a sheep, you're a friend who listens and understands. You have added so much strength to the group ever since I transfered and I sincerely believe that God will also use you greatly in the NS ministry. Mark my words: BE A SHEPHERD THERE! AND BE A CL SOON! :D Love you sheep. Be good there eh? Haha.

Alright I should really go to sleep now. Gotta wake up at 7.30am tmr to give tuition and that's like 2 hours away. After that there's a Minops CG at SENTOSA. Yes if I don't sleep now I'm really gonna die tmr. Haha alright bye.